10 Worst Songs of All Time
(according to maynard, that is)
There have been "Top 10" lists on just about every topic you can imagine. One of the best known is the Top 10 list done by David Letterman. His Top 10 List gets repeated on the radio and I have to admit, it can be entertaining. The FBI has their Top 10 Most Wanted, there's the Top 10 movies of all time, there's the Top 10 online scams, etc., etc.

Well, people have asked me about my favorite music or movie, but who ever asks you about your least favorite song or movie? Nobody! There are "10 Worst" lists out there, but not many. It's hard to name your favorite song or movie, on the other, hand, it's a lot easier to list the ones you hate, so I'm taking the easy route! This page lists my 10 Worst songs of all time with a 30 second sample of each for you to listen to. I tried to include songs from different genres, but most really bad songs are "pop" songs. The strongest criteria I had in putting this list together was, "If the song came on the radio, would I listen to it, or would my hand fly as fast as possible to the tuning dial to change the station". Well, this entire list falls into the impossible to listen to category. Then there's the list of Songs that didn't make the 10 Worst list, but they're still awful. Then I hope to make a list of worst songs people send me. So, tell me about a song that you hate.

So,... here's my list:
Seasons In The Sun
by Terry Jacks
30 second sample
terry jacks "Seasons in the Sun" earned highest honors in category. In my book it's the worst song ever sung. Lyrics like, "Goodbye papa please pray for me, I was the black sheep of the family", sung in a sappy voice is way too much. My mother knew how much I disliked the song and sang it to me just to get me riled up. Well, I miss the teasing from my mother, but not "Seasons In The Sun." Follow the link for the lyrics to Seasons in the Sun. The song was written by a Belgian man by the name of Jacques Brel in 1961 and translated to English and sung by Rod McKuen. Jacks changed some words and the arrangment and had a big hit,... that I DO NOT like! The original purpose of the song was a goodbye from a dying man to his loved ones.
Islands In The Stream
by Kenny Rogers &
Dolly Parton
30 second sample
parton & rogers I've never seen a closer Second Place! Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers sing the song, "Islands In The Stream", a song written by the three Gibb brothers, Barry, Maurice and Robin, of the famed group, "The Bee Gees". My favorite line has to be, "I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb,...". What is that supposed to mean? I want to check you for lice before we date? Or, I culled you from the herd? Follow the link for lyrics to Islands in the Stream. As an aside, may I suggest a site dedicated to men who look like Kenny Rogers? Follow the link to visit Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers. Now for some Dolly trivia,... "Dolly the Sheep" was named after Dolly Parton.
Indiana Wants Me
by Dean Taylor
30 second sample
dean taylor Third Place is a song recorded by Dean Taylor called "Indiana Wants Me". My favorite lyric is, "If a man ever needed dyin' he did, No one had the right to say what he said, about you,...". So he kills someone for saying the wrong thing to his girfriend? That's like the line from Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues, "I Killed a Man Just to Watch Him Die", a song which I like by the way. To enjoy all of the deep prose of the epic song, "Indiana Wants Me", follow this link to its lyrics.
by The Village People
30 second sample
village people Fourth Place is a song by the Village People, "YMCA". Most of their music sounds the same, Good thing one of my rules is to not allow two of the 10 Ten Worst Songs to come from the same "artist". If not for that rule, I would include "In the Navy", as well. YMCA is the kind of song you can still hear at the roller rink on a Saturday afternoon. Kids like to move their arms into the shape of the letters, Y-M-C-A, while the letters are sung. They even have an extremely bad movie called, "Village People - Can't Stop the Music". I cringe when I hear anything by them. YMCA is the worst because I actually hear it once and awhile. Here are the lyrics to YMCA. OK, my real hatred of the Village People stems from their song, "In the Navy".
California Girls
by The Beach Boys
30 second sample
beach boys Fifth Place goes the the Beach Boys. They're responsible for a large volume of truly bad work. They entered a time machine,.. and,.. it stalled! 10 years of music that sounds identical. The Beach Boys occupy fifth place because it's not #1 and it's not #10. In other words, they're sooo mediocre that can't decide if they belong at the beginning or end of the '10 worst list'. So here they are, placed smack dab in the middle of the 10 Worst! Oh, I have to pick a worst song of their's ??? How about, "California Girls"?? There are many more,.. "I Want to Go Home", "Help Me, Rhonda", "Little Deuce Coupe", "In My Room", "Wouldn't It Be Nice", and so many more,.. Here are the lyrics to California Girls.
25 or 6 to 4
by Chicago
30 second sample
chicago The sixth place winner, Chicago, has some talent, I just can't take their style of music. Really, I don't know why I hate their music so much, I just do. They were very popular and had millions of fans. The song, "25 or 6 to 4" is one of their worst and was played continuously and was passed off as rock 'n roll. I thought the horns and voices "yelled" out of the speakers whenever they were played. Robert Lamm (Chicago's organist and a vocalist) claims the song is about a late-night song writing session while he had 'writer's block'. The meaning of the song title is that it is 25 or 26 minutes before 4 in the morning, and he looked at the clock and it read 3:34 or 3:35 AM, and he titled the song thusly. The other theory is that he is trying to decide which drug to take, LSD-25, or a drug called a "624". The lyrics sound a little spacey, but who knows. Who would refer to 3:34 or 3:35 AM as "25 or 6 to 4", and make a song out of it? Check out the lyrics to "25 or 6 to 4", and form your own opinion.
Achy Breaky Heart
by Billy Ray Cyrus
30 second sample
billy ray cyrus Let's not leave country music unrepresented, well,.. it's not real country music, it's more like country-pop, if that's even a musical genre. All I know is that it's not worth listening to. In seventh place we have "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus (written by Don Von Tress). I probably don't even have to explain why I don't like this song. You probably don't like this song either. Meaningful lyrics like,
  ->   Oh you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind
  ->   It might be walking out on me today.
really make the song. I wish I could say more about the song, but it speaks for itself. I guess it has a beat that makes it good for line dancing. Follow the link for the lyrics to "Achy Breaky Heart", and enjoy.
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy
by Rod Stewart
30 second sample
rod stewart This song embarrasses me. Eighth Place goes to Rod Stewart (music by Rod Stewart and Carmine Appice) for "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". Rod Stewart has done some pretty acceptable music over the years, especially when he was with the Faces. He also has 3 volumes of what he calls the "Great American Songbook", CDs of standards that are good. He took a wrong turn with this crap. It was such a big song for him that it appears on his "Greatest Hits" CD. Great outfit in the picture at the right! Profound lyrics from "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy",
  ->   If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
  ->   Come on sugar let me know.
Anyway, the song really stinks. To read the lyrics in their entirety, please follow the link. lyrics to "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy", and enjoy.
Sugar Sugar
by The Archies
30 second sample
the archies I had to include a sample of Bubble Gum music. There were so many choices in this category for Ninth Place. The Archies are perfect for this esteemed placing on my list. The Archies were a manufactured group put together by Don Kirshner (the guy who gave us the Monkees). The song "Sugar, Sugar" was 'Number One' on the British charts for 2 months. The Archies were named after the Archies comic book; remember Betty, Jughead and Veronica? There was a Saturday morning cartoon to go along with the "band". 1969, what a year. Follow the link to read the lyrics to "Sugar, Sugar".
Having My Baby
by Paul Anka
30 second sample
paul anka We're finally at Tenth Place (is this like last place or first place?). I chose "Having My Baby" as sung by Paul Anka and Odia Coates. It's a duet Think about the lyrics,
  ->   Having my baby,
  ->   What a lovely way of saying that you're thinking of me.
What's going on here? So she thinks about him, hmmm, and then decides to keep the baby as a result of those wonderful thoughts. The best I can guess is that she is having the baby because he wants her to. It sounds like her decision is his first clue that she loves him. Maybe the courtship should come before the baby? Follow the link to read ALL of the powerful lyrics to, "Having My Baby".
Top of Page
Songs that Didn't Make the List (but they are really bad songs):
11.   Brandy, by Looking Glass
12.   All That She Wants, by Ace of Base
13.   Feelings, by Anyone Who Does It
14.   Who Let the Dogs Out, by Baha Men
15.   Tainted Love, by Soft Cell
Songs that You Suggest are Horrible:
              1. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me, by Boy George (submitted by Vincent)
              2. Muskrat Love, by Captain & Tennille (submitted by Lorrie)